I write a fortnightly column for the Great Eastern Mail. Missed an edition? Here I share past letters for you.
Dear Emma, I’ve been reading your articles for a while now, and have finally found the courage to write in. I would like to know what you suggest I can do about my overthinking. Every night when I go to bed, thoughts race through my head and sleep evades me. I think about everything. I recognise that I worry about a lot of things; my children if I said the right thing, jobs done, and jobs that need doing, etc. The list can go on. I try to focus my thoughts on one thing but never stay on that. Can you offer any advice? I am tired of overthinking and losing sleep.
I am so pleased you have written in! It's understandable that when you have been going through a difficult time, it can feel harder to reach out, but you are right, you demonstrated courage in doing so! First and foremost, I want you to remember that it's completely normal to have thoughts and worries. You are not alone. More of us struggle with overthinking and sleep difficulties than we admit. However, when these thoughts become overwhelming and interfere with your daily life and sleep, it's important to take steps to regain control.
Overthinking can be linked to anxiety. And I do empathise, as I used to have bouts where overthinking became problematic. So here are 4 steps that I personally recommend to help you cope with overthinking and improve your sleep:
- Identifying Negative Thought Patterns:
The first step to address overthinking is to become aware of the specific thoughts that are causing you distress. Take some time to reflect on your thoughts when you're in a state of overthinking. Write them down in a journal or note on your phone. For example, you might notice a recurring thought like, "I can't stop thinking about all the things I need to do at work tomorrow. I'll never be able to handle it all."
- Examining Evidence for and Against the Thought:
Once you've identified a negative thought, it's time to examine the evidence that supports or contradicts it. Ask yourself questions like:
- What evidence do I have that supports this thought?
- What evidence do I have that contradicts this thought?
- How does this thought make me feel emotionally?
- How does this thought make feel physically?
Using our previous example, you might find that while you have a busy day ahead, you've successfully managed similar workloads in the past. You also have a supportive team and resources to help you.
- Challenging and Reframing the Thought:
Now, it's time to challenge and reframe the negative thought. Replace it with a more balanced and realistic perspective. For instance:
From: "I'll never be able to handle it all."
To: "It's a busy day tomorrow, but I've faced similar challenges before, and I've always found a way to manage. I can prioritize tasks and seek help when needed."
- Practice Self-Compassion:
Remember to be kind and compassionate to yourself during this process. It's normal to have negative thoughts, and you're working to change them. Avoid self-criticism and acknowledge that changing thought patterns takes time and effort. Here, I often ask myself what would I say to a friend or loved one? Then I apply it to myself.
I will often use my journal and write down all four of these steps to clarify my thinking. This also releases me from having to hold it all in my brain. Then I might do some deep breathing stretches or listen to some calming music or meditation before returning to bed. I then find sleep comes much more easily.
As for some sleep, some common tips to be mindful of include:
- Ensure your sleeping environment is comfortable, dark, and quiet.
- Limit caffeine and alcohol intake, especially in the evening.
- Maintain a consistent sleep schedule, even on weekends.
Please know that progress may take time, and it's okay to have setbacks along the way. What's most important is that we continue to work together and that you are committed to making positive changes in your life. Remember that you are not alone in this journey, and with dedication and the right strategies, you can regain control over your thoughts and sleep patterns. As always, practice self-compassion. You are stronger than you may realize, and I believe in your ability!
Hope that helps, Emma
‘Ask Emma’ is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your GP, mental health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have. By submitting a question, you are agreeing to let Great Eastern Mail use it and we may edit it for length and/or clarity. You can find Emma on Instagram @emmawoodcockcounsellor and on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/emmawoodcockcounselling
